Pointless Nonsense

Posted in tv by Bill on December 18, 2014

ascensionAscension is a miniseries that Syfy is hoping will be a hit and turn into a real series. Most of the action takes place on a space ship launched 50 years ago to I guess start a colony on another planet. The people on board have missed out on 50 years of social changes, which could have been really interesting from a social commentary point of view. Instead, they just wear 60s inspired fashion and women’s only roles on the ship are as sex objects. There were some questions raised at the beginning of part 1 (of 3), which was just barely enough to keep me watching. Because there’s not much else on. At least one of those questions was answered in part 3, in a very unsatisfactory (to me) way. So should this ever become a series, I have no interest in it.

Syfy is trying to get away from the light fare like Eureka and Warehouse 13, lamenting missing the boat on hit speculative fiction shows on other networks. Ascension feels like a hodgepodge of influences from those and other hits. It has shocking character deaths like The Walking Dead, it has a lot of sex like Game of Thrones (though with only the basic cable level nudity of butts and sideboob), and it has a 60s aesthetic like Mad Men. I can only assume if it goes to series that people will ride motorcycles, cook meth, and maybe go to a women’s prison. Just to cover all the bases.

The cast is kinda weird. Six from BSG (most of the basic cable level nudity is her ass), Bobby Cobb from Cougar Town who is suddenly doing a lot of dramatic stuff even though I can’t take him seriously at all (do they play penny can in Attilan or on this ship?), Tommy’s wife from Rescue Me who is still pretty hot but you can now tell she’s getting older, and a guy that I think might have been on Ally McBeal. And some random younger people. Like there are 6 or 7 characters probably in their early 20s, all good-looking, all frequently in their underwear or bathing suits or otherwise not wearing much.

One character’s name is Gault, which I thought at first was Galt, and combined with the retro-futurism, I wondered if they were going for a Bioshock thing with that and the Ayn Rand business. But there’s really nothing about economy or self interest or anything, so nothing doing there. I couldn’t really pick up anything of substance from the show at all. I think they were aiming for sex and plot twists, and nothing else.

I thought they might have more fun with the isolation of the people from pop culture and new slang. But they seem to introduce some… anachronisms is not the word, because they’re appropriate words for 2014, but inappropriate for people who haven’t been in contact with Earth for 50 years. Someone secretly records something, then plays it on a giant screen. People refer to it as a “video” and it being “uploaded”. It sure as heck wasn’t a digital video, their computers are from the 60s, so it wasn’t uploaded anywhere. I don’t think “upload” would have been in people’s vocabulary then anyway. And I would think they would have called it a film or a tape or a movie. I feel like video was not a commonly used term 50 years ago (google ngrams says it was a lot less common, but I feel like that was probably mostly in technical manuals and things).

Anyway, not a good thing.

Posted in tv by Bill on December 13, 2014

marcopoloMarco Polo is Netflix’s newest series. And it’s a little bit boring. I really don’t know much at all about the real story of Marco Polo, but the first episode here is mostly just standing around and talking. It picks up a little at the end, with parallel scenes at some kinda harem and an impending battle. The harem stuff was pretty nice, but still not enough to make me want to keep watching.

Posted in movies by Bill on December 9, 2014

non-stopStill more movies I’m binging on, which was interrupted by my 2.5 weeks of non-stop Dragon Age.

  • Men in Black 3 features Josh Brolin doing a pretty solid impression of Tommy Lee Jones, Alice Eve and Nicole Shzhgnjnger looking hot, and otherwise… not a lot. Will Smith is a pretty charismatic dude, but that’s really not enough to carry the movie.
  • I’d heard the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty being pro-torture. And I guess I can’t say for certain, since I only saw 37 minutes of it. But it sure came off as pro-torture to me. And also boring.
  • Knights of Badassdom is that LARP movie with Peter Dinklage and Steve Zahn and Summer Glau in her now ubiquitous role as “hot girl in a nerd thing” (and her part here is especially shitty, I don’t think she serves any purpose to the story in any way other than being attractive). Joshua Malina, the McPoyle guy who was also on Breakout Kings (playing a character whose last name is “Kwok,” which I guess they didn’t bother to change after casting a white guy), Brian Posehn, the bearded guy who used to be on Mad Men, and Danny Pudi also appear. And some guy from True Blood is the main guy. It reminds me of Fanboys in a lot of ways, what with nerdy people getting all excited about it well in advance, it never really going to theaters, and ultimately turning out to be a cheap-looking mediocre movie. And I’m not nearly nerdy enough to know this stuff, but are LARP events really overnight camp-out things? Something about that creeps me out.
  • Identity Thief looked like crap but I gave it a shot because of Jason Bateman. They sorta lost me in the first 30 seconds, during which Bateman, someone who manages accounts for an invenstment banking company, gets cold called by someone who then asks for all his personal info, which he freely gives out. That’d be like me, an IT person, falling for an amateurish phishing email. Couldn’t they have come up with a conceit for his identity theft that didn’t make him look incompetent? I stuck it out for about 15 minutes, but nah.
  • Non-Stop features old man Liam Neeson kicking ass, but on a plane instead of to rescue his kidnapped daughter or to fight wolves or whatever else. A plane is a great claustrophobic setting for a murder mystery. It feels like an old one on a train, except with post 9/11 laws and paranoia drive up the tension. The ending is ridiculous and all, but up to that point it’s really well paced and exciting. Bar Paly is in this, the second movie I’ve seen her in, both times with a Russian accent. And apparently she was born there. But she doesn’t have one, I don’t think, in that Hardee’s commercial where she eats a burger on a plane. So that’s weird.

Posted in video games by Bill on December 7, 2014

da-iDragon Age: Inquisition is the third game in the Dragon Age series, which I told myself I wasn’t going to play until it was cheap, but apparently I lied to myself and bought it with just enough time to download and activate it right at midnight for its release.

It’s really good, but I can’t imagine playing it without having played the first two. Three companions from the first one appear (or maybe two, if you played it differently), one from the second, plus the player character from the second. Lots of plot threads are continued, and I think a lot of the world history of templars and mages, grey wardens and darkspawn, archdemons and old gods, would make it all a bit much to just jump into.

It picks up from the framing device of DA2 with Cassandra teaming up with Leliana (with Varric in tow) to go do some stuff in response to the mage rebellion. The head of the chantry had a big meeting to try to settle some stuff between mages and templars, but someone tore a hole in the sky to blow her and most everyone there up. There’s now a giant tear in the universe and it’s causing more tears all over Thedas. You play a guy who has the unexplained ability to fix these tears, and Cassandra and company plan to use you to save the world and fix some problems with the chantry while they’re at it.

The story and characters are the strong suit. A few of the choices you have to make are kind of soul-crushing. And the voice actors are excellent. Except I don’t care for Freddie Prinze Jr as the Qunari dude, but I’m guessing he’s a nice guy and likes these games and if I was Bioware I’d put him in my games too (I’m sure he mentions them on his twitter or whatever and so his presence pays for itself). But he’s just not right for a Qunari. They’re kinda like Klingons. And that’s not really Freddie Prinze Jr to me at all.

The romance is the only thing I’d call a failure. Which is not to say it was poorly done, just that it failed, unlike the previous two games, to cater to my tastes. In the previous two games, I instantly knew my preferences. Morrigan and Isabella, no question. But in both cases, the other options grew on me eventually too (Leliana and Merrill), though not enough to change my mind. In this one, I went with Josephine, who is fine, but not very interesting, over Cassandra, who is also fine and not very interesting but I don’t like her accent. No regrets with my choice, except wishing I had better options. I’d have preferred scout Harding, arcanist Dagna, the elf girl who did creature research at Haven, Morrigan (even though she’s still in love with my dude from the first one), Leliana, or even Vivienne even though her opinions are abhorrent because her voice actor is awesome. I had no problems with the characters of Cassandra and Josephine in general, in fact I liked them both quite a bit, they just didn’t really make me want to have my character bang them.

Previous games had broken the world up into a series of zones, with small to medium size areas to explore in each zone. This one still breaks the world up into zones, but some of them are huge. The main one you unlock first, Bioware had to tell people “it’s ok to leave” on their twitter account because people were spending days just in that one zone, and then complaining that it was monotonous. The areas are so big that they feel a lot like the Bethesda games I’ve played (Fallout 3/NV, Skyrim). In some respects that’s good, but also that means a ton of time is spent trying to get up a mountain, either by running halfway up a slope only to find that it’s too steep to climb, or by circling around in 3/4 of the way to find the path up. I say forget realism, and just have the map point you to the right pathway up somehow.

The graphics were really impressive, for a minute. But seeing as how I haven’t upgraded my cpu, memory, or graphics card in almost four years, my desktop was basically right at the minimum system requirements. Despite the inferior video card, it turned out my laptop played the game more smoothly (though it lacks the SSD, which meant some lengthy load times). I still had to dial the graphics settings down quite a bit. Mental note to upgrade my desktop in time for the next Fallout or Mass Effect game, which I’m guessing one or the other will be out in 2016 or so?

The save import process is weird. I thought it would be much improved, and maybe it will be going forward. But for now, it gathers some information from your Bioware account, but mostly needs you to answer a bunch of questions about what you did in previous games. Which, it’s often hard to remember which option you chose for the little stuff. Also, the interface is terrible and I screwed it up the first time and I had to restart about 30 hours in when I was able to confirm that the world’s history didn’t match what I’d put on the thing. But with the game doing cloud saves to your Bioware/Origin account, I have to assume this won’t be a thing in the future. Since they can just import save games from their own servers. Though presumably the next Mass Effect game will have the same Q&A thing. Hopefully better designed, though.

The combat is very similar to DA:II. The focus is on a skill tree rather than stats (though of course there are stats), and your active skills are limited by both mana/stamina and a refresh time. The tooltips kept describing some sort of combo concept, but I never picked up on any indication that one had been successfully done. Still, the skill focus means you’re busy choosing which skill to activate when during combat, which makes it pretty entertaining. Having 10 different high dragons to find, if you’re willing to deviate from the main storyline a lot to buff up, was pretty cool. Especially since very early on, this game totally triggered my completionist instinct, and I ended up finishing just about every quest I got (I had one that was bugged, and then a couple things where you’re supposed to collect these things from all over the world, which either requires spending countless hours searching everywhere on in the world, or cheating and looking up the locations online and still spending a really long time).

There are some weird interface things. You can press a key to search the surroundings for items to interact with, and it plays a sound and highlights the item when there is one. Which sort of sounds nice in theory, less time spent poking into every corner looking for stuff. But what actually ends up happening is that you’re pressing that key every 2 seconds for the entire game. And you hear the sound and then stand in a circle spinning around trying to figure out what it is that triggered the sound. And the highlight is in a pale yellow, which didn’t offer much contrast in the desert or snowy areas.

Anyway, excellent game. It’s totally weird that in my gaming peak I played FPSes and RTSes almost exclusively, but now as a casual gamer it’s mostly these big story-driven RPGs.

Posted in movies by Bill on November 13, 2014

interstellarIntersterllar is exactly the kind of movie I want there to be more of. It’s not a sequel or a prequel or a reboot or a remake or an adaptation of a book or a TV show or a video game or a board game. It’s science fiction. Fairly hard science fiction. But not bogged down in technical stuff, there’s an actual story. With production values. And impressive special effects. And good acting. Which is why I’m pretty disappointed that I didn’t love it.

I liked it. But it never hooked me quite like most of Christopher Nolan’s movies. I’d probably put it ahead of Following and Insomnia and… that’s it. Comparing it to some of my favorite movies of the past 15 years is probably a little unfair, because it really is better than the vast majority of movies I see. Especially lately. It is a little too long, though.

Spoilers from here on out:
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Posted in movies by Bill on November 11, 2014

catwomanA slight detour from movies I thought might suck to check out one I knew would suck, 2004’s Catwoman, deserving of its own post because it sucks to an impressive level. Being one of the few superhero movies of the last 15 years I haven’t seen[0], and it’s one of my favorite characters in comics, I figured I’d just hate-watch it.

It’s about 20 minutes of romantic comedy before anything action-y happens. Halle Berry is Patience Phillips (not Selina Kyle), who wants to do fancy art but instead does graphic design for a cosmetics company. She has a meet-cute with Benjamin Bratt, and Alex Borstein and her sassy gay coworker get all excited about her date with this handsome cop. But she has a mean boss ad people treat her like a doormat!

It’s like the pilot to a 90s NBC sitcom, in the Suddenly Susan/Just Shoot Me mold up to this point. Except instead of her reaching her breaking point and putting her foot down and becoming determined to prove that a single girl really can make it in the big city, she stumbles onto an evil plot by her bosses and they try to kill her and a group of magical cats bring her back to life, giving her cat powers and newfound confidence.

Her near death fucked up her plans to have coffee with Benjamin Bratt, so she goes to apologize and meets him where he’s proving his good guy charm by talking to a bunch of at-risk kids at an inner city school. This leads to a painfully long scene in which they sort of play basketball and sort of dance. And she jumps over him without a running start and nobody seems to be particularly surprised by that.

Then her neighbors play their music too loud so she breaks their door down and destroys expensive speakers because that’s a totally appropriate response. She then puts on a leather outfit, steals a motorcycle, foils a jewelry store robbery in progress, but decides to rob it herself anyway.

She meets an old crazy cat lady, who turns out to know the secret of the magical cats, who have given these powers to Catwomen throughout history. And she gets a Catwoman mask out of the deal.

This for some reason inspires her to to put on a different leather outfit, this one with shredded pants and a top that’s basically a bra.

Over the course of being dated by and investigated by Benjamin Bratt, she writes “sorry” on things and he notices that the handwriting looks similar. So he goes to lab tech guys to see if the handwriting is a match. The forensic guy says “it’s not an exact science” but points out that the first sample is from someone who is lonely and insecure, while the second is “confident, almost angry.” Which first of all, determining personality by handwriting is not a science at all, and more importantly, he asked if the two things matched, not “is the person who wrote this lonely?”

I’d heard Missy Peregrym made an uncredited apperance, so I figured there’d at least be that. But she plays “horrible side effects of makeup the FDA should not have approved.” She’s a face on a screen covered in chemical burns. So that’s disappointing.

A few actual positive things to say about this:

  1. Halle Berry is hot
  2. They take an interesting approach to the superpowered action scenes. It’s very dynamic CG, like the Raimi Spider-Man swinging through the city. For the very first action scene, when she is fully covered in black leather, it works pretty well and creates a nice effect making her look very agile. Later, when she goes to the much skimpier costume, it looks horribly fake, because the CG just makes her skin look super shiny.
  3. Sharon Stone is appropriately cast as the fashion model who used to be hot and famous but now she’s over 40 and nobody cares.

But that’s really it. Terrible, terrible movie.

0. I think this may just leave the second Ghost Rider movie, Elektra, and the Tom Jane Punisher? At least for the high-ish profile ones. I even saw Jonah Hex and Punisher: War Zone I should probably see two of those (not the Ghost Rider one). They can’t be this bad, at least.

Posted in movies by Bill on November 8, 2014

47ronin-rinkoMore random movies that I kinda expected to suck:

  • Hyde Park on Hudson is about FDR’s supposedly romantic relationship with his 6th cousin. With Bill Murray as FDR and Laura Linney as the cousin. Who the hell knows who their 6th cousin is anyway? That’s like your grandparent’s 4th cousin’s grandkid. I had elderly relatives who were super into genealogy stuff, but I was never introduced to anyone who was more remote than a 2nd cousin once removed. I’m sure I’ve met a 6th cousin though, because much of my family is clustered together geographically, and if each person averaged 2 kids, which I suspect is a low estimate, you’d have 2048 of them, though some might be the same person. Which raises the question of… if your mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother’s mother is the sister of your father’s father’s father’s father’s father’s father, does that make you your own sixth cousin? This has nothing to do with the movie. They kinda lost me at Laura Linney giving FDR a really awkward handjob, and I just decided this movie wasn’t for me.
  • Wreck-it Ralph is the Toy Story but with video game characters movie. Its not Pixar good but it’s still enjoyable. I want to say around Shrek 2 quality, which is a movie I remember enjoying somewhat, but I couldn’t tell you a thing about what happened in the movie, so it couldn’t have been great. They got the rights to use some video game characters, which lead to some weird stuff. There’s a support group for villains, and they have a Diablo type character, M. Bison, Bowser, Clyde the Pac-Man ghost and for some reason Zangief? He’s not a bad guy is he? M. Bison, sure, and I figured all the NPCs like Balrog and Sagat would be villains, but not the playable ones. I’m sure some of the movie/tv adaptations turned him into a bad guy (I never even saw that one live action movie, or the Kristin Kreuk one), but he’s not a bad guy in the games. Is it just because he’s Russian? The cold war has been over for decades, I think we should be past the Russophobia by now.
  • 47 Ronin takes the traditional Japanese story of 48 people killing themselves but eventually proving a point about corruption and honor, and turns it into the story of a half=white guy raised by demons who helps a bunch of samurai save the girl he loves from a bad guy who uses evil magic. About all that remains of the original story is the names of a few particulars, Asano’s seppuku, the resulting ronin wanting revenge, and being granted the dignity of suicide themselves after they get it. Rinko Kikuchi, it turns out, joins Ruth Wilson and Amy Acker in the “way hotter when crazy and evil” club, as she plays a witch of some sort. She’s got like lopsided hair and different colored eyes and dark lipstick and it is nice (pictured). But yeah the movie is pretty bad. I still watched it in its entirety, because I figured the monster fights were sometimes cool, and there might be more hot crazy Rinko Kikuchi at any moment.
  • 42 is the Jackie Robinson biopic from a couple years back. It’s pretty hokey, and contains some weird bending of the truth. Most of them are just Hollywood-isms to make the story flow better or make it more emotional. But Leo Durocher (Christopher Meloni) is suspended in the movie because he has an affair with a married actress and the commissioner doesn’t want to upset the Catholics, when in reality (though he did bang and eventually marry that actress) he was suspended for associating with gamblers (which may not have been the case, the accusations spun out of a fight with the owner of the Yankees). And they changed the location of Dodgers’ spring training. For no reason whatsoever, as far as I can tell. Anyway aside from those complaints, and the CG ball they use which look fake as hell, it’s pretty ok. Harrison Ford gives an amusingly lousy performance as Branch Rickey, he’s basically playing generic crusty old man. And Chadwick Boseman is pretty good, I can totally see him as Marvel’s Black Panther.
  • 2 Guns stars Mark Wahlberg and Denzel Washington and is based on a comic I read but forgot about. There’s a twist that was spoiled in the trailer that could have been interesting, but they didn’t really frame it in the movie to be a big surprise anyway. Paula Patton is in it and has a topless scene, which is pretty nice. But also when clothed she seemed like she had a lot more going on, which is I guess a testament to bra technology. The movie as a whole is just fine for what it is, a buddy action/comedy thing.
  • Fruitvale Station is about Oscar Grant, a guy who got shot by police in Oakland in 2008. It pretty much only exists to humanize a guy who I’m sure was thought of as a thug by a lot of people who heard about the shooting. Which is kinda messed up when you think about it, because there was video of the shooting and it was really disturbing. Plot-wise it’s pretty boring, it’s just some guy who’s had a rough couple years trying to go out for New Year’s Eve. Michael B. Jordan is good in it, though.
  • Nature Calls is the incredibly generic title for a comedy I’d never heard of starring Patton Oswalt, Johnny Knoxville, Rob Riggle, and Maura Tierney. Which was enough to make me curious about it. I only made it 20 minutes in, it is horribly unfunny. Maura Tierney still looks good, though, despite being 47 when this was filmed and a cancer survivor. She put some weight back on after that show with Rob Morrow and grew her hair out some.

Posted in tv by Bill on November 6, 2014

the-gameThe Game is a new BBC America miniseries about MI5 in the 70s, cold war spy stuff.

I was slightly confused, since I thought MI5 was for domestic matters and MI6 for foreign. But apparently the distinction is more subtle. MI6 gathers foreign intelligence, while MI5’s primary responsibility is the protection of the UK, its people, and its interests. Which can include foreign intelligence operations. So that just seems like a recipe for jurisdictional disputes.

Unfortunately, I spent a good portion of the beginning of the episode researching this, and this is not the action kind of spy story. It’s the slow, methodical, you don’t know who to trust sort of thing. And those can get quite complicated, and are not the type of thing you should try to follow while reading wikipedia articles about intelligence services.

The main guy sorta looks like Cillian Murphy or Ben Whishaw. He has a potential defector who claims there’s some big Project Glass to do something really bad to the UK that involves activating KGB sleeper agents. He brings this back to MI5 and they set up a committee run by Brian Cox, including the gay probation worker guy from Misfits who is I think just a police detective. There are also flashbacks to the main guy’s previous mission which went pretty badly awry, but is full of mystery. Anyway, in the end, they conclude there might be a mole on the committee, so therein lies the “you don’t know who to trust” part.

I debated for a while but eventually decided not to follow this, even though it’s only a miniseries.

Posted in movies by Bill on November 5, 2014

captainphillipsGetting a fancy new cable package along with the new DVR, I suddenly have access to lots of movies I haven’t seen before, many of which I knew would suck, but I was curious about anyway. And I didn’t really have anything else to do on my weekend, so here are some:

  • After Earth stars Will and Jaden Smith as people in the distant future who have left Earth to live on some other planet because of monstrous aliens that are only able to detect people by smelling their fear pheremones, and Will Smith is Hal Jordan-like in his fearlessness which lets him be a badass soldier invisible to the enemy, while Jaden wants to be like him but is a total wuss. So they crash land on Earth, Will’s legs are broken or something, so Jaden sets out to save their asses while Will tries to give him Yoda advice on not being such a wuss. I made it 34 minutes in before finding it too boring to continue.
  • Captain Phillips stars Tom Hanks in the title role and Barkhad Abdi as the scariest looking Somali pirate dude ever in the true-ish story of that cargo ship being captured by pirates. Paul Greengrass is really good at what he does, and it’s a really tense, even though I already knew the outcome. I’m a little confused as to how a failed hijacking attempt could occur one day with Phillips’ ship basically outrunning them, but the same group attacked them again the next day. I guess they were following in a “mother ship” but it seems like they would have been so far behind after the aborted attempt that catching up would have been impossible. But whatever. It sounds like there’s a lot of debate about how accurate the story is, but it’s a pretty exciting movie.
  • Epic is a CG animated thing about a girl who gets shrunk down to tiny and has to help a civilization of hummingbird riding tiny people save the forest from evil tiny people who want to… not save the forest, I guess. Evil for evilness’ sake. It actually has a lot going on for a 100 minute movie. Amanda Seyfried as the girl has an arc about discovering that her father isn’t a crackpot who imagined the presence of tiny people in the forest, Josh Hutcherson is the standard movie hero type with lots of potential but he’s a screw-up, Colin Farrel is the soldier who loved the queen (Beyonce) and she died and now he wants revenge or something, there’s a whole thing with bad guy Christoph Waltz’s son dying and now he’s extra mad, and there’s a bunch of comic relief characters, like Chris O’Dowd, Aziz Ansari, and for some reason Steven Tyler. The animation is pretty well done though, so not a bad way to waste 100 minutes.
  • The Counselor is that movie where Javier Bardem has crazy hair and Michael Fassbender is a lawyer trying to get into drug trafficking. I think Fassbender’s trying for an American accent? Or something. He sounds weird. It’s a Ridley Scott movie and has a pretty impressive cast, but it’s actually kind of a generic crime movie. Fassbender gets in it for money but has a lady (Penelope Cruz) to worry about, he gets advice from a veteran criminal (Brad Pitt), and there’s weird people (Bardem) and sex (Cameron Diaz). Nothing about it felt particularly interesting or different until near the end when Natalie Dormer is in it for like 2 minutes. They should really do a better job of advertising any time she’s in a movie, because I think I would watch them all. I’m going to avoid looking at her imdb profile or I’ll end up watching a ton of crappy movies.
  • Cloud Atlas is that movie where actors play a bunch of different characters in different eras, sometimes with white people putting on makeup to look Asian, which is creepy (Asian Hugo Weaving looks like a Vulcan). Although Halle Berry as Asian and Bae Doona and Zhou Xun as white and hispanic are creepy too. It’s confusing in that there are I think six storylines in different time periods and jumps between them, and that the individual stories aren’t entirely linear, and also that . It took about an hour before they offered even the slightest explanation for the different timelines and re-used actors. Which is about a third of the way into the movie, because it’s really, really long.
  • The Lone Ranger was one of my favorite things as a little kid. Mask, white horse, silver bullets, for some reason I ate that shit up. I hate tapes of the radio serials and saw the ’81 movie in theaters (though I have zero recollection of it, since I was 3). But I really couldn’t get excited at all about this version, partly because of Johnny Depp white guy bird-on-head Tonto, partly because Armie Hammer just seems like a douchebag, partly because Ruth Wilson isn’t that hot when she’s not playing a psychopath, partly because I had grown quite tired of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies and with Gore Verbinski directing/Bruckheimer producing/Depp starring it seemed like it was going to be more of the same slapstick action adventure. I made it an hour and a half in, thinking it would be over soon, only to discover there was a whole hour to go.

Posted in tv by Bill on November 4, 2014

tysonMike Tyson Mysteries is a new Adult Swim show, where Mike Tyson (Tyson), the ghost of the Marquess of Queensbury (the Dean from Community), a talking pigeon (Norm MacDonald), and Tyson’s daughter who is for some reason an Asian girl (someone I’ve never heard of) drive around in a van and solve mysteries Scooby-Doo style. It’s mildly funny, and only 11 minutes long, so I guess I’ll keep watching.

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