Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on September 15, 2017

The Founder stars Michael Keaton as Ray Kroc, who is not the founder of McDonald’s, but is the one who turned it into a huge business. It’s a surprisingly interesting story, though I’m not sure it really needed to be a full length film. But it still makes for an ok story.

Nick Offerman and John Carroll Lynch play the actual McDonald brothers, Laura Dern is Kroc’s first wife, Patrick Wilson and Linda Cardellini (blonde, I didn’t even recognize her until she spoke) are a couple who run a franchise, and B.J. Novak is the guy who really figures out the business.

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Posted in movies by Bill on September 13, 2017

Little Evil is a Netflix movie where Adam Scott marries Evangeline Lilly and becomes stepfather to her antichrist son. It’s got a great cast and they do what they can but it’s just not that good. There’s a scene about 35 minutes in of Evangeline Lilly looking particularly hot that I’m surprised I can’t find more than a really shitty quality version of that I was going to link to to save anyone else the time of watching the whole movie, but whatever. Maybe if you were a step-parent you could relate to the plot, but that’s about all I can say for it.

Posted in movies by Bill on August 24, 2017

I saw people talking about Rememory somewhere and didn’t watch the trailer, but scifi, Peter Dinklage, and the late Anton Yelchin sounded interesting enough. Then Google posted a thing that they were giving it away for free today (or maybe yesterday by the time anyone reads this), so I checked it out. It’s ok. Peter Dinklage is quite good in it, but it moves a little slowly. It has an interesting conceit that… I couldn’t help but watch this and think it could be remade with a more brisk pace and be a really interesting popcorn movie, but instead they tried to make a pensive artsy movie, and there’s not really enough in the concept to really be all that thought-provoking like they wish it could be. Minor spoilers to follow,  so if you’d like to go in blind, don’t read further.

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Posted in movies by Bill on August 23, 2017

Underworld: Blood Wars is the… somewhere between 4th and 7th Underworld movie. I really have no idea, since other than Kate Beckinsale looking hot, they are quite forgettable. Fortunately, this starts with a “previously on Underworld…” catchup sequence. But it ended up not even mattering, because it was so bad it couldn’t hold my attention enough to follow the plot. I would just kinda look when Kate Beckinsale was on screen and not pay attention otherwise. I shouldn’t watch the next one if they make it (which they kinda should for their fans cause this one did nothing to advance the overall story and ended with a tease for something more), but I’ll probably have forgotten my lack of interest in this by then and be mesmerized by the idea of more of Kate Beckinsale in the tight outfit. Even though she’ll be like 50 by then.

Posted in movies by Bill on August 21, 2017

Hours after being assured that Passengers wasn’t out on premium cable yet, I found that Passengers was out on premium cable. So I watched it. Last year, I figured it was science fiction with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence, so I would be seeing it, and I’d avoid the trailers. Then the word of mouth was quite bad, so I skipped it in the theater and didn’t watch it until now. The word of mouth was pretty accurate. It lost me pretty early on, but I kept hoping it would figure out a way to win me back, and it did not.

It has a plot thing that I think is the source of people’s dislike for it, which I can’t discuss without spoiling the shit out of the movie, so spoiler warning for everything past this. And She’s All That spoilers, for no good reason, too.

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Posted in movies by Bill on August 4, 2017

Dunkirk is Christopher Nolan’s film about the evacuation of Dunkirk in World War II. It’s quite good. On the one hand, it’s very cinematic and probably best seen in the theater, but on the other hand, there are a few moments I wished I could have turned on subtitles due to incomprehensible British accents so waiting for home viewing might be better in that respect. Either way, worth seeing.

It’s unusually structured, showing the event from three perspectives, and over three different amounts of time, so that one storyline covers an hour and another covers a week, and when two of them cross over, you may see the two versions of the intersection pretty far apart. But once you get the hang of it, it works. Tom Hardy and some guy who isn’t a movie star yet but will be feature in the air story; familiar older British guy and Cillian Murphy on the boats; and Kenneth Branaugh, James D’Arcy, and Harry Styles on the beach. But a lot of the major roles are played by nobodies.

Posted in movies by Bill on July 31, 2017

Atomic Blonde stars Charlize Theron as a spy in Berlin just before the wall fell. The plot barely matters (it’s twisty for the sake of being twisty, and it all wraps up far too neatly), she’s chasing a McGuffin, frequently changing outfits, dropping bodies left and right, all set to 80s moody synth pop. It’s stylish and full of action and pretty good for what it is, though it’s a little disappointing that it didn’t have more of a story or more interesting characters.

Posted in movies by Bill on July 11, 2017

Spider-Man: Homecoming is the best Spider-Man movie to date. I never liked Tobey Maguire, and while Andrew Garfield was fine, the movies themselves weren’t all that good. Tom Holland is a better match for the character than either. He’s believably unpopular at school, genuinely funny and awkward, and manages to pull off at least one scene that could have been really corny with some other actor.

Knowing RDJ’s Tony Stark would be involved, I’d worried his presence would overshadow the title character, but it really didn’t. This is definitely a Spider-Man movie. It spends almost as much time on high school as it does on superheroics. Most of the notable high school characters that I know from comics and cartoons make an appearance (including someone who’s not Miles Morales’ friend Ganke, but basically is).

Implied spoiler: there’s a plot development in the movie that I might have seen coming if I didn’t assume certain things matched the comics, so foreknowledge in this case helped lead to a nice surprise. And there were some things I missed because I don’t know Spider-Man as well as some other characters (although I also missed a thing about Donald Glover’s character that I definitely should have picked up on, but I’m bad with character names).

Posted in movies by Bill on July 5, 2017

War Machine is Netflix’s new-ish movie that is about neither Marvel’s James Rhodes nor the MMA guy who almost killed his ex-girlfriend, but rather the war in Afghanistan and one General’s misguided attempt to win it. Brad Pitt stars as the General, and he does some kind of voice, maybe it’s an impression of the real guy, or maybe it’s just gruff like how he thinks a general ought to sound? Either way, it’s distracting.

The movie seems like it’s trying to be a dark comedy, but it’s not all that funny, and fairly depressing. Since we know they don’t actually win the war, it’s like watching a bunch of smiling people march off a cliff. I didn’t make it to the end.

Posted in movies by Bill on July 3, 2017

Baby Driver is Edgar Wright’s first major movie that is entirely his creation (his previous four being three co-written with Simon Pegg and an adaptation of Scott Pilgrim). The result is good but a little odd. It has a great soundtrack, a lot of action, a few good jokes here and there, and it’s both filmed and set in Atlanta so I spent a good amount of time trying to recognize where they were filming and whether it matched where they said they were.

His other movies were much funnier, this was more of a straight action movie, but it does get a little too cute for me in places. There’s an early scene that’s almost a dance sequence, which is not my kinda thing. Also, Ansel Elgort has a ridiculous name and I didn’t really like him. I dunno if it’s just his face or if it’s the way the character was written or what, but I liked the side characters and kind of hated the guy I was supposed to root for.