Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on August 21, 2017

Hours after being assured that Passengers wasn’t out on premium cable yet, I found that Passengers was out on premium cable. So I watched it. Last year, I figured it was science fiction with Chris Pratt and Jennifer Lawrence, so I would be seeing it, and I’d avoid the trailers. Then the word of mouth was quite bad, so I skipped it in the theater and didn’t watch it until now. The word of mouth was pretty accurate. It lost me pretty early on, but I kept hoping it would figure out a way to win me back, and it did not.

It has a plot thing that I think is the source of people’s dislike for it, which I can’t discuss without spoiling the shit out of the movie, so spoiler warning for everything past this. And She’s All That spoilers, for no good reason, too.

This movie is essentially a romance. You know how in a romance movie, there’s the obstacle that keeps the two people apart, that has to be overcome before they can be together forever? It’s usually someone pulling a dick move of some sort, like a bet that you can turn the overalls and glasses girl into the prom queen. But it’s a forgivable dick move, so if you convince overalls and glasses girl that you’ve changed, she’ll… do a line dance with Usher, or whatever the hell happens at the end of that.

If the dick move is big enough, the whole thing falls apart. And in this case, the dick move is Chris Pratt intentionally stranding Jennifer Lawrence alone with him on a spaceship for the rest of her life. They were both supposed to hibernate until they ended up on a new colony, his pod malfunctioned and he woke up 90 years too soon. No way to go back into hibernation. Since he’s 30-ish, he’s going to die before the ship gets to where it’s going. But because J-Law looked hot in her hibernation pod, he intentionally causes her to wake up early too. And he lies about it, and sleeps with her, and she doesn’t find out that he did this to her on purpose until after that.

When she does find out, she’s pissed like she should be (although not pissed enough about the deceit/sex part, they kinda glossed over that, she was pretty much just pissed that he woke her up). But in the end he feels sorry about it and he also does a big heroic thing and all his forgiven. And that seems really stupid.


One Response

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  1. All Things Movies - Morton said, on August 21, 2017 at 12:53 pm

    It’s a film that literally can’t recover from its intriguing introduction! Such a shame as it was looking good up until its release!

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