Pointless Nonsense

Posted in video games by Bill on January 2, 2017

ac3Assassin’s Creed 3 was free because of an Ubisoft promotional thing. I’ve never played the first two, so that was maybe dumb to try, but what the hell, free is free.

The PC port has a bunch of problems, which are all pet peeves of mine:

  1. Can’t do windowed mode. Every time I alt-tab out I have to wait a few seconds for my display to reset.
  2. Several unskippable company logos at the beginning.
  3. Garbage mouse interface on the menus.

The latter requires some explanation: To select an option you have to click to select then click again to confirm, but the first click to select scrolls the option to the center. So if I want to pick a thing towards the bottom of the screen, you move the mouse pointer to the bottom, click. Then, since it’s now moved to the middle of the screen, move the mouse pointer up to the middle, and click again. It all works fine with arrows and enter, but it’s a really awful interface for a mouse. And since you play the game with your right hand on the mouse and your left hand on the left side of the keyboard, going to the arrow keys is not natural.

As for the actual game, I couldn’t accept the premise. I’m trying to give it suspension of disbelief, but it just doesn’t entirely make sense. I’m re-playing the past because some… sentient temple or something wants to tell me something. It’s important that I do things “right” or I drift off of the actual history. But I’m only actually in control when like… climbing walls and shit. The game goes on autopilot when I have a conversation and I make no choices. So why do I have to climb walls and shit? Can’t it just show me a movie of what happened/ I realize the game basically requires me to do the wall climbing stuff to qualify as a game, but then… why not have it actually take place in the past, and skip all this simulation bullshit? My inability to make sense of the premise guaranteed that I couldn’t ever get into the story.

I got pissed off because apparently I suck at this one mini-game that’s sorta vaguely like checkers. It took me 5 tries (two draws and two losses) before I could beat the first AI opponent at it. It didn’t matter at all (I don’t think there was even money on the line, since I hadn’t acquired any?), but I couldn’t accept that I’m like an hour into a game and I’m getting my ass kicked by an AI in an intro-to-the-game game. Anyway, once I beat that, I quit the game.

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