Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on December 9, 2014

non-stopStill more movies I’m binging on, which was interrupted by my 2.5 weeks of non-stop Dragon Age.

  • Men in Black 3 features Josh Brolin doing a pretty solid impression of Tommy Lee Jones, Alice Eve and Nicole Shzhgnjnger looking hot, and otherwise… not a lot. Will Smith is a pretty charismatic dude, but that’s really not enough to carry the movie.
  • I’d heard the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty being pro-torture. And I guess I can’t say for certain, since I only saw 37 minutes of it. But it sure came off as pro-torture to me. And also boring.
  • Knights of Badassdom is that LARP movie with Peter Dinklage and Steve Zahn and Summer Glau in her now ubiquitous role as “hot girl in a nerd thing” (and her part here is especially shitty, I don’t think she serves any purpose to the story in any way other than being attractive). Joshua Malina, the McPoyle guy who was also on Breakout Kings (playing a character whose last name is “Kwok,” which I guess they didn’t bother to change after casting a white guy), Brian Posehn, the bearded guy who used to be on Mad Men, and Danny Pudi also appear. And some guy from True Blood is the main guy. It reminds me of Fanboys in a lot of ways, what with nerdy people getting all excited about it well in advance, it never really going to theaters, and ultimately turning out to be a cheap-looking mediocre movie. And I’m not nearly nerdy enough to know this stuff, but are LARP events really overnight camp-out things? Something about that creeps me out.
  • Identity Thief looked like crap but I gave it a shot because of Jason Bateman. They sorta lost me in the first 30 seconds, during which Bateman, someone who manages accounts for an invenstment banking company, gets cold called by someone who then asks for all his personal info, which he freely gives out. That’d be like me, an IT person, falling for an amateurish phishing email. Couldn’t they have come up with a conceit for his identity theft that didn’t make him look incompetent? I stuck it out for about 15 minutes, but nah.
  • Non-Stop features old man Liam Neeson kicking ass, but on a plane instead of to rescue his kidnapped daughter or to fight wolves or whatever else. A plane is a great claustrophobic setting for a murder mystery. It feels like an old one on a train, except with post 9/11 laws and paranoia drive up the tension. The ending is ridiculous and all, but up to that point it’s really well paced and exciting. Bar Paly is in this, the second movie I’ve seen her in, both times with a Russian accent. And apparently she was born there. But she doesn’t have one, I don’t think, in that Hardee’s commercial where she eats a burger on a plane. So that’s weird.

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