Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on August 9, 2014

heroes-unitedIron Man and Captain America: Heroes United just came out, which also clued me into the existence of Iron Man and Hulk: Heroes United, which must not have been marketed very well when it came out last year. They’re both CGI using the voice cast from the Avengers Assemble cartoon. They’re not very good.

The Hulk one deals with Zzaxx, a Hulk enemy I don’t really know, but who is sentient electricity, with a little bit of Abomination thrown in there. There’s a pretty amusing sequence in the middle where Hulk is temporarily blinded and Tony’s armor is broken, so they do kind of a Master Blaster thing, with backpack Iron Man telling Hulk what direction to smash. But that’s about the only thing this has going for it.

In the Cap one, they take on the Red Skull, who has recruited Taskmaster to capture Cap, in the hopes of something something super soldier serum generic supervillain plan. They manage to continue Avengers Assemble’s practice of ignoring the existence of Rhodey by having Cap don the Iron Patriot armor with no mention of Rhodey at all. Or, I guess, Norman Osborn. I’m still baffled as to why they put Rhodey in that dumbass armor in Iron Man 3, only to spend the whole movie talking about how much better War Machine is. And then in the comics, they put him in the Iron Patriot armor so movie fans wouldn’t be confused. Meanwhile in the cartoons, Norman Osborn’s wearing it, and now Cap’s wearing it.


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