Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on May 30, 2014

dofpX-Men: Days of Future Past gets a ton of characters from all the X-Men movies together, and introduces some new ones, so that we can ignore them and focus on Xavier, Magneto, and Wolverine. Which is pretty lame. It’s a well-crafted movie, but it’s dealing with the same dynamic from the movie from 14 years ago, that’s been repeated 3 other times since. And also featuring the character that’s been a major player in 3 of those movies, plus two of his own. So it’s territory that’s already well-covered, the only thing relatively novel is that Xavier and Magneto have to work together, which would be great except that’s what they did in First Class, and that was an otherwise much better movie (though I still think they screwed up Magneto). Xavier and Magneto have the exact same dynamic as they’ve always had. And it’s also weirdly regressive compared to a comic from 30 years ago. Also Bryan Singer had a really conspicuous cameo that they probably should have edited out now that much of the public thinks of him as a sexual predator.


It’s heavy-handed with its message about acceptance of those who are different, and making all sorts of holocaust parallels, but it takes the source material and erases a lot of the kind of people who were actually in the holocaust. Like Kitty Pryde, who was the one traveling back in the original Days of Future Past story, who is Jewish (she functions as a time machine in this). Or Quicksilver, whose mother is Romani in the comics, but is just some random American lady in the movie. In fact, the movie basically erases all women except Mystique. And Mystique is emotionally damaged and somewhat fragile, she’s practically a MacGuffin. So our heroes are are all white, the one who is Jewish is also an evil murderer.

I heard fans really excited about Storm returning, about the appearance of Bishop and Blink, and I can only assume they were hugely disappointed. Storm is barely in the thing at all, she fights sentinels in the future and has barely any dialogue (also she didn’t go full mohawk, which is one of the more iconic things in Days of Future Past, I think). Bishop says maybe 5 words and uses his powers some (but channels them through a gun). Blink says maybe two words.

The way their time travel works is weird. Future Logan goes back to the 70s, replacing 70s Logan for a while, changes some things, and then returns to the future. 70s Logan returns, unaware of what Future Logan did while inhabiting his mind, then lives out the next several decades until suddenly being replaced, completely overwritten, actually, by Future Logan, who has no memories of the new timeline from the 70s to now. Marty McFly also did this at the end of BTTF1, but almost everything in those movies fails to hold up to scrutiny. This isn’t a flaw or anything, it’s just strange.

Quicksilver wasn’t as dumb as he looked from that Burger King commercial, although his powers had a few physics issues. If you’re moving so fast, even a bullet appears to be moving in super slow motion, anything that moves faster than that is literally going faster than a speeding bullet. Gently moving someone’s arm is actually accelerating it from a stop to 500mph then back to a stop in a fraction of a second. Poking them on the cheek is like their cheek being hit with a finger-sized bullet. And of course, you couldn’t really run. If everything but you is moving in slow motion, so is gravity. So you take one step and then float off the ground. It’d be somewhere between walking on the moon or floating around in space.

The cast is still great (except for Halle Berry, who never felt quite right as Storm, but again she’s barely in this). Fan Bingbing is hot and they way they did Blink’s powers is cool as hell. Her ~2 minutes of screen time is basically the highlight of the movie.

It’s not terrible. I guess my reaction is just overwhelmingly negative because X-Men First Class was so much better. As were the first two movies. And even the second Wolverine movie, goofy climax and all, was just more fun. This was just kind of a rehashing of things we’ve already done, but with time travel. Not for any actual good time travel reason, just to have the two casts get to be in the same movie together.


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