Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on May 5, 2014

tasm2The Amazing Spider-Man 2 is really very disappointing. It’s too long, has too many villains, and is all over the place with its tone. It tries (admirably) to mix the goofy aspects of Spider-Man with the soap opera parts, but in the process manages to feel pretty disjointed. And overall it felt more like putting the pieces in place for future movies than doing anything worthwhile on its own.

Also, Emma Stone’s short skirts and knee socks/boots from the first movie (which were awesome) are mostly replaced by long coats.

She does wear a nice outfit in one scene though, and they still do a damn good job with Spider-Man in the fight scenes. He uses his web shooters in creative ways and cracks jokes constantly. But that’s about all the good things I can say about it.

Spoilers to follow, including for the very end:

  • Dr. Kafka in the comics is a woman. So in the movie, which features Aunt May, Gwen Stacy, a tiny bit of Felicia (presumably Hardy), and about a billion dudes, they decided “nope, too many women already.”
  • Electro’s powers include dubstep. He was pretty goofy in general, incredibly reminiscent of Pamela Isley in whichever Schumacher Batman movie that was. Which is not really a good thing. I’d be fine with goofy in some respects (Rhino was goofy as hell, but I liked him), but it was kind of a silly concept for effectively the main villain of the story.
  • It amuses me that Denis Leary presumably got paid to show up a few times and look disapprovingly at Peter.
  • Peter’s father made the genetically altered spiders with his own genes, so it required his bloodline to work or something. So he had to run forever to keep his bloodline from Osborn. But he left his kid behind, who also has his bloodline? And didn’t think Norman Osborn might do something nefarious to a kid to manipulate the kid’s parents to come out of hiding?
  • Also, he built an Indiana Jones secret puzzle hidden lair in an old subway station? With a computer that suspended for 15 years and came right back to life? And all Peter did when he found it was watch a video and then leave and never mention it again?
  • If you can’t afford to send a kid to college but you’d like to, taking nursing classes is not a good way to go about it. Unless you take those classes like a decade in advance. If you have the money for nursing class, you were probably doing ok for college savings. If you don’t, you’re just taking on extra debt up front.
  • Their technobabble in general was awful. WTF is a hydroelectric tower and why would you build a bunch of them in New York City? Magnetize your web shooters so that ??? and they will keep working when Electro zaps them?
  • Norman Osborn is one of Spider-Man’s premiere villains, and in this movie he… is mean to his son for 2 seconds and then dies.
  • Imdb has the worst trivia item I’ve ever seen, saying the little kid with the wind turbine is a reference to Miles Morales. Which, if it is, someone did bad and they should feel bad. Because a little kid who passes for white is not the same as a very dark skinned half-black half-hispanic kid. His introduction was like national news because black Spider-Man, so how would you possibly cast that kid as black Spider-Man?
  • The Green Goblin didn’t belong in this movie. His main contributions to the plot were releasing Electro and killing Gwen Stacy. Anyone could have released Electro, and Gwen Stacy didn’t have to die.
  • Look, if she almost dies, realizes her father is right, and moves to England, you can still have your emo “I don’t want to be Spider-Man anymore” moment. Or she almost does, he realizes his father is right, breaks up with her and she moves to England, still a good excuse for depressed Peter. Superhero movies are getting as ridiculous as comics when it comes to killing off women. Rachel Dawes dies, Gwen Stacy dies, Jean Grey dies, Maya Hansen dies, Frigga dies… but all the men who die are either old man mentors or bad guys. It’s lame.

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