Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on December 28, 2012

In keeping with my recent traditions, I watched a bunch of movies over the break. Roughly best-to-worst:

Dredd adapts the 2000AD character that I know virtually nothing about (I never even saw the Stallone version) into an 80s-style action movie, and it’s fantastic. A lot of my favorite 80s action movies, like Predator, have almost no plot, and Dredd does this perfectly. Judge Dredd and a trainee go into a high rise controlled by a gang, and the gang tries to kill them. That’s your whole movie. And it manages to be tense the whole time. Plus, even all scarred up, Lena Headey is pretty hot. dredd
Ted is basically an early season episode of Family Guy, one of the ones where they didn’t shit all over the moral at the end. Which is perfectly good, I liked early Family Guy quite a bit, but I’m surprised Ted was received as well as it was, even by lots of people who claim to not like Seth MacFarlane’s TV shows. I guess it doesn’t have FG-style cutaways, but neither do American Dad or The Cleveland Show. ted
Silver Linings Playbook was the compromise on Christmas day because I had zero interest in Les Miserables and my mother had zero interest in Django Unchained. And it was actually pretty good. I say that not just because Jennifer Lawrence spends a decent amount of the movie in tight, skimpy dance clothes and does a lot of bouncing (I really wasn’t on board with her hotness in previous movies, but I think I’m just finding her personality appealing, causing me to appreciate her unexceptional-by-Hollywood-standards beauty). The movie’s a sappy romantic comedy, but a lot of the comedy comes from a pretty dark place, which makes the sappiness more bearable. silver-linings-playbook
Expendables 2 consists of far more footage of old men firing machine guns while they shout out mediocre one-liners than any movie should have. I liked the first one ok, but the sequel was just painfully bad. Though pronounced like it’s a French name, Jean-Claude Van Damme plays the bad guy who is named “Villain.” The movie is just filled with these kinds of groan-worthy jokes. A movie with Terry Crewes and Jason Statham shouldn’t be able to be this bad, but there you go. expendables-2
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