Pointless Nonsense

Posted in movies by Bill on April 6, 2012

Unknown is the entry in the “Liam Neeson is an old man kicking ass” sub-genre between Taken and The Grey where he wakes up from a short coma and there’s another man pretending to be him and his wife doesn’t remember him. Liam Neeson tries to play an American* and January Jones tries to play a human being, but if you can get past two actors playing things well out of their range, it’s not bad.

* – Sadly, he does not say either “fathoms” or “cattles.”

Two gripes:

  1. You do not have MRIs while wearing jeans. Zippers, buttons, those metal rivets, that’s just crazy.
  2. When a filmmaker wants to show a shot of someone watching a YouTube video, and the video they show is absolutely pristine, you shouldn’t make the quality selection of “360p” visible. Either don’t show it at all, or make it 720p or better.

And one thought, which is a spoiler:

Having lost his wife, like in all movies, we have to get treated to montages of “I miss the good times with my wife and want her back.” These montages are not of a romantic sunset or a picnic on a sunny day, like most movies. Instead, they’re of banging her in the shower from behind (it’s PG-13, so these scenes are sadly not awesome). I thought this was because the romantic sunset/picnic type scenes would require January Jones to emote, but it turned out to be actually plot related, as he’s lost most of his memories, and it’s eventually revealed that she’s not actually his wife. Hilariously, his memory returns Fred Flintstone style (or, if you prefer, Chas Lamborghini style), by another blow to the head.


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