Pointless Nonsense

Posted in ladies, movies, other nerdiness by Bill on May 19, 2011

videoRandom videos:

If you don’t have an iPhone…

Un-embeddable here, America’s Waitresses: Are They Hitting On You?, a rare Onion video that goes beyond the funny premise of the headline.

I’ve read about Mathematicians and the quest to turn spheres inside out, but I never really understood it until I watched this, which explains it well and then blows my mind with the solution:

Stephen Fry, now apparently cast in The Hobbit as the something of something (google it if you care), on swearing. It’s a point I’ve heard before, but he’s much more persuasive with his fancy accent and eloquence and general awesomeness:

The supercut of women falling down in romantic comedies is amusing, but also thought provoking (at least provoking of the kinds of trivial thoughts that drive my mind). Giant tangent: I’ve noticed that in tv shows, movies, and commercials designed to appeal to women, the actresses are what I call 80% hot. They’re always a little quirky or something. Julia Roberts has giant teeth, Reese Witherspoon has that chin thing going, Kate Hudson is a surfboard, Katherine Heigl has that face that makes her seem like a bitch, and Sandra Bullock has kind of a nose thing going too (and I get the impression without the movie magic, she’d look a lot like the beginning of Love Potion No. 9), which accounts for like 90% of romantic comedies over the last 5 years. You will not see the romantic comedy starring Olivia Wilde* as the girl we’re supposed to root for, apparently because regular women hate really hot women. And now, this video would have me believe that women not only want actresses who are physically imperfect, they want to see them fail miserably. This goes along with my observation that whenever the main character is a woman who is good at her job, she has to be a train wreck outside of work (The Closer has basically the most competent leading woman on TV, but she’s constantly almost ruining her marriage and/or her relationship with her parents). All this might explain why idea for Kate Beckinsale as James Bond wouldn’t work, because you get guys to buy tickets by just being a Bond movie. You get women to buy tickets to swoon over Daniel Craig. Having Kate Beckinsale kick ass, win at baccarat, and make out with a series of Bond girls would be awesome, but women apparently would not be as interested (and the guys would go see it with Daniel Craig anyway). So yeah, tangent over, here’s that supercut:

I have never even seen a Furby in person, but sometimes blatant pandering (maid outfit, glasses) totally works on me. This japanese girl appears in lieu of another Korean pop video, because I haven’t run across any lately:

* – Originally I wrote Megan Fox, but we’re not going to see a romcom with her because she’s completely unlikable. Also, I saw a clip of her in that silly looking angel wing movie with Mickey Rourke, and in the close-ups of her face, she looks kind of terrifying. I would link to it here, but it was on a nsfw site and I’m at work (the clip itself was only the hand-bra kind of topless, obviously it it was a really nsfw Megan Fox thing, it would’ve been all over the internet by now).

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3 Responses

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  1. Krug said, on May 19, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Kate Beckinsale has been in Romantic Comedies (well at least one)… What separates her from Olivia Wilde?

    • Bill said, on May 19, 2011 at 1:05 pm

      Britishness? I did think about that, but I guess I’m speaking in generalities.

      • josephjeong said, on May 21, 2011 at 10:25 am

        In Serendipity, they did try to pander to Bill’s general theory by showing her with freckles . So, though I think that imperfection doesn’t even matter, they did do that she’s not perfect angle in that movie too.


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